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Tiger Forced To Give Ex-Boo Damn Near A Billion

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What initially started as the most humiliating case of side-booing in sports history, has now turned into the most expensive case of side-booing in sports history. Tiger Woods’ former Boo Elin Nordegren, has finalized her divorce from the greatest thing to happen to golf since grass, and is set to make somewhere between $750-$800 mill…for 6 years of marriage. WTF?!?!?

For $800 mill, I probably would have let Tiger skeet in me and tried to have a kid like Schwarzenegger did in “Junior,” and probably wouldn’t have tried to divorce dude after finding out about his numerous side-Boos. It would have settled for a multi-million dollar forgiveness gift. Nordegren made out like a fat rat, for basically providing a solid meat pocket for smashing and some long term babysitting. And for all of her troubles she is hitting the ultimate jackpot.

Nordegren doesn’t wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad anymore, because in just a few short years with some savvy investing, she should top the 10 figure mark. Ain’t no side-koochie good enough to be worth that much, but if there is, i’ll have 2 please.

Nordegren also gets custody of both of the kids and Tiger isn’t allowed to let the kids meet any of his future legitimate Boos, unless he puts a ring on it.

Let this be a lesson to all you men and women that are caking and think that you’ve found true love…you better holler “I Want Prenup!”

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