Salty Swordfishes: Titans Sue Lane Kiffin & USC

The state of Tennessee has officially lost it. Monday the Titans filed a lawsuit against Lane Kiffin for allegedly stealing away one of their coaches.  The lawsuit accuses USC and head ball coach Lane Kiffin, of “maliciously” intending to induce RB coach Kennedy Pola to breach his contract.

Didn’t Titans head coach Jeff Fisher play football at USC?

This is a bush league (get it?) move by the Titans’ organization, and obviously there are still some open wounds in Knoxville as well as Nashville (or Cashville like Young Buck say). This lawsuit has nothing to do with the Titan’s losing a RB coach, and all to do with the state of Tennessee’s disdain for Kiffin, and the way he left town.

I am no USC fan, but I am not rolling with this lawsuit. Tennessee, stop drink that orange-flavored haterade.

That’s Your Azz: NCAA Sanctions USC For Infractions

Judgment day finally came for USC, as the NCAA handed down numerous sanctions for various infractions by the program, mainly involving 2 of the school’s bigger Legends: Reggie Bush and O.J. Mayo. The biggest tramp in this whole situation is Pete Carroll, who basically bounced on the program for the NFL when they needed him most. The basketball team already put themselves in self-check last year, punishing a team and coach that had nothing to do with the shady shenanigans, by imposing a postseason ban.

On Thursday it was the football’s teams turn to get the proverbial NCAA boot up their azz, as the Trojans were hit with a 2-year postseason ban as well as a reduction in scholarships over the next few seasons. This is probably the worst possible timing the Pac-10 currently looking to expand by adding several teams from the Big 12, including Texas, the squad that served the Trojans in the legendary Natty game a few years ago.

The biggest winner in this whole situation is Rick Neuheisel and the UCLA football squad, who should see an influx of top talent from the region, as many prospects might see the postseason ban as something that they aren’t willing to roll with.

*Skool Work* USC Song Girls Getting Wet For Dollars

Last weekend USC held it’s annual “Swim With Mike” charity event, where actually Trojan Song Girls do the best dives in uniform, before stripping down to bikinis and arousing the appetites of both young and old perverts alike. The event did manage to raise nearly a meal ticket, which is big cheese in any neck of the woods. New head football coach Lane Kiffin was also on hand, most likely sneaking a few courtesy peaks to see where the Trojans stack up against the Raiderettes and/or Vols cheerleaders. From the looks of things, they are at least deserving to be in the same discussion. Fight on beezies. Via Busted Coverage (You guys are doing God’s work)

More pics after the jump…

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Tis Tough: That’s Your Azz USC (Basketball)

This USC basketball team finally stomped down on itself over that whole O.J. Mayo getting broken off by a booster incident that took place during the other Juice’s one season with the Trojans in 2007-08. As a result of the self-punishment USC is going to vacate all the wins from that season and recoup the NCAA for the cheese the school got for making the tournament when Mayo was on the team. USC’s current team, which is currently 10-4 and 2-0 in conference will also be punished for Mayo’s transgressions with the following penalties:

-Postseason ban (no Pac-10 or NCAA Tourney) for this season only

-One scholarship reduction for each of the next 2 seasons

-Reducing recruiting during the next academic year from 130 to 110 days. Also only one coach will be allowed to actively recruit for the program

USC has been conducting an internal investigation under the guidance of the Pac-10 and NCAA for a while, and as a result of their findings, felt their best option was to punish themselves in order to gain some leniency from the NCAA. It’s kind of like in Godfather II when Frank Pentangeli tried to snitch on Don Michael Corleone, but instead realized that he made a mistake and did the only noble thing that he could. USC officials have been quick to point out that these sanctions are limited to the basketball team. But with Pete Carroll’s squad dealing with various allegations of their own, it’s a safe bet that USC will announcing some sanctions sooner than later.

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USC Running Back Joe McKnight Caught Ridin’ Dirty

USC, the school known for breaking bread with it’s athletes like a bar mitzvah, is in hot water again after an L.A. Times investigation uncovered some shady dealings between the star running back Joe McKnight and some square/booster named Scott Schenter, who has previoulsy work in the marketing realm. According to the report McKnight has been spotted several times in the past few weeks driving a flossy 2006 Land Rover that is registered to Schenter.

McKnight denies having any relationship with the Los Angeles area businessman and when the LAT reporters jammed him up on the issue he claimed that the vehicle was given to his baby mama, who is a secretary for Schenter. The problem is that Schenter registered the web site 4joemcknight.com a few months ago along with several other USC themed sites, which may not bode well in the investigation. McKnight also claimed that he had never personally driven the car and that he doesn’t even have keys. All we have to say to this is…Negro please!

McKnight just flat out got busted just like, well, just like a Trojan (XXL Mag of course) does when placed under extreme pressure. After the Times reporter witnessed McKnight blatantly driving the vehicle he also claimed that he didn’t register the vehicle with the school, as athletes are required to do by NCAA rule. When the athletic department was asked about this they asserted that McKnight had indeed registered the vehicle and that he was just bullshitting when he said he didn’t. Another classic example of when not making sure everyone is on the same page can get you in trouble.

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USC Linebacker Malcolm Smith At UCLA’s Undie Run

In case you didn’t know Malcolm Smith is a Legend on and off the field. The ‘SC linebacker was responsible for putting up the first points on the board after getting a pick six in the first quarter of USC’s 28-7 win over crosstown rival UCLA in the annual battle of Los Angeles. But just because he balls on the other side of town, doesn’t mean you won’t find Smith in and around the Westwood area. Especially when there is a bunch of beezies in their panties and bras, bouncing around like basketballs.

We spotted Smith back in June at what would prove to be the last UCLA Undie Run, after the school has decided to cancel the event because it got way too cracking. The decision was due to a large influx of non-UCLA students, like Smith, who take part in the event and linger around the surrounding area following the festivities.

There have been varying incidents associated with the recent tradition due to the continuing growth of the Undie Run from a grassroots, unorganized freedom of expression into a school-controlled spectacle in which thousands take part. Although the Undie Run has technically been eliminated, we have a feeling some crafty students will figure out a way to keep it alive

Check out Smith’s hilarious interview at the Undie Run after the jump…

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Pete Carroll And Trojans Clown UCLA

It’s been a tough season for the USC Trojans. After trying to carry the West on their back but coming up way short of expectations, the Trojans got a much needed victory in front of their home crowd. Pete Carroll took the opportunity to clown UCLA and specifically head coach Rick Neuheisel for a questionable move by the Bruins coach as time was winding down in the 4th quarter.

Trailing 21-7, with the Trojans in victory formation, Neuheisel decided to call a timeout with 52 seconds left in the game for no good reason. Considering that Pete Carroll loves rubbing things in and already had a sour taste in his mouth from the Stanford 50-burger 2 weeks ago, his decision to call a (successful) play should have come as no surprise. After Matt Barkley threw the 48-yard touchdown pass, the Trojans sideline erupted, getting some of that swagger back they desperately were missing following losses in 2 of the last 3 weeks and facing the reality of a nasty bowl game.

Even though Carroll’s move may have been somewhat classless, the Bruins reaction, running to the middle of the field like they wanted to get things cracking, was absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary. The team should have shown that type of fight on the field and not acted like a bunch of studio thugs after getting embarrassed. The good news this is a yearly rivalry and guaranteed this game will be remembered come next season.

Check video of the almost brawl from behind the USC bench after the jump…

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The Trojans Response

Apparently some Trojan fans weren’t too happy with the differences between UCLA & USC and in order to bring balance to the force, we had to post this picture that one of our reader’s sent in (yeah, we didn’t know anybody ACTUALLY read our articles either) as a retort to Eric O.’s legendary breakdown.

The Chaser is bi-partisan, and this pic is decently funny, like midget porno. The only problem is the Trojan fan who sent this in seems to have forgotten that USC basketball sucks and their loss to LMU a few days ago is nearly as nasty as UCLA’s game last night.

In order to settle this debate once and for all, we suggest a strip-off between the 5 hottest representatives from each school. We’ll judge, and much like Turtle, our vote is for sale. Courtesy hojos accepted.