Elin Nordegren Speaks To People Magazine

Tiger Wood’s estranged ex-wife Elin Nordegren, told People Magazine that “the speculation that I would have used a golf club to hit him is truly ridiculous.” In an exclusive interview Nordegren said  that after months of trying to reconcile their marriage, the high-profile couple realized there were too many trust issues to get back together.

On Thanksgiving night outside their Winderemere, Florida home, Woods drove his SUV over a fire hydrant and into a tree, setting off shocking revelations that golf’s biggest star had been cheating on his wife through multiple affairs.

The couple officially divorced Monday….

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Tiger Forced To Give Ex-Boo Damn Near A Billion

What initially started as the most humiliating case of side-booing in sports history, has now turned into the most expensive case of side-booing in sports history. Tiger Woods’ former Boo Elin Nordegren, has finalized her divorce from the greatest thing to happen to golf since grass, and is set to make somewhere between $750-$800 mill…for 6 years of marriage. WTF?!?!?

For $800 mill, I probably would have let Tiger skeet in me and tried to have a kid like Schwarzenegger did in “Junior,” and probably wouldn’t have tried to divorce dude after finding out about his numerous side-Boos. It would have settled for a multi-million dollar forgiveness gift. Nordegren made out like a fat rat, for basically providing a solid meat pocket for smashing and some long term babysitting. And for all of her troubles she is hitting the ultimate jackpot.

Nordegren doesn’t wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad anymore, because in just a few short years with some savvy investing, she should top the 10 figure mark. Ain’t no side-koochie good enough to be worth that much, but if there is, i’ll have 2 please.

Nordegren also gets custody of both of the kids and Tiger isn’t allowed to let the kids meet any of his future legitimate Boos, unless he puts a ring on it.

Let this be a lesson to all you men and women that are caking and think that you’ve found true love…you better holler “I Want Prenup!”

Tiger Woods Post-Masters Interview “I Finished 4th”

Tiger Woods is back like crack, as if it ever left, putting on a heroic 4-day display at Augusta National, finishing in a more-than respectable 4th place at 11 under. ESPN and CBS both have to be creaming in their pant’s as Tiger’s return attracted more than just the average golf square. Everyone was curious to see how the serial side-boo’er would do in his return to work, and even though he didn’t accomplish the desired result, he still came pretty damn close. Tiger was obviously salty immediately following his final round, but did maintain his composure despite the onslaught of annoying questions about his performance.

It’s good to see that Woods still has that fire, although you probably can’t holler at him anymore if you want that Oscar Mayer, unless of course you’re Elin Nordegren. But the bottomline is that Tiger makes golf watchable and guaranteed this was one of the highest-rated Masters of all times if not ever. Tiger may like to get his nut on the side, but that has nothing to do with his ability to dominate on the golf course. All the other dudes on the tour are probably just a tad bit salty that the King is back.

In other news, Phil Mickelson won the Masters…care.

Video of Tiger hollering at some media squares following his final round after the jump…

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That Boy Good: Tiger’s Eagle On The 7th Hole

Whether you love or hate Tiger Woods, you have to show some love for his performance at the Masters this year. He went through some tough stretches, but managed to channel all his emotions to stay with the pack. Early on Sunday it looked like Tiger was ready to self-destruct after a few questionable shots, but then he got his Mojo back with this Eagle on the 7th hole. Tiger even managed to crack a smile as the gallery’s enormous ovation made him aware that the ball went in. Tiger had a few setbacks later on in the day but still shot a 69, which is both great for golf and life.

Our 2nd Remix of the Tiger Woods Nike commercial (which may be way funnier than the first) after the jump…

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*Exclusive* Tiger Woods Nike Commercial Parody

We all know that the real Tiger Woods Nike commercial featuring the voice of his late father Earl Woods is just a tad bit wack, so The Chaser had to remix it. In our commercial Tiger gets some real life wisdom and learns that sometimes being a “dick” isn’t that bad. Check out the video after the jump…
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Tiger Woods Nike Commercial Featuring Dead Dad

In honor of Tiger Woods making his first appearance back on the scene since getting the dime dropped on his side-booing, Nike released this controversial commercial featuring a static shot of a stern-faced Woods, with his father’s voice echoing off camera. The commercial is a little creepy, considering Woods’ Pops has been dead since 2006, but effectively used a sound bite that was obviously in regards to something golf-related, to chastise Tiger for getting caught getting way too many nuts from code-breaking side whores. Considering that Earl Woods was known for getting his nut from side-boo’s as well (see Tiger’s Mom) the decision by Nike to go this route may be a little questionable, but will mean nothing if Tiger has a strong finish at the Masters.

Video of the real commercial as well as the way funnier unreleased version after the jump…

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Tiger Woods Addresses Media Before 2010 Masters

Augusta National was buzzing Monday afternoon as Tiger Woods had his first “real” media availability in front of a packed room. Woods previously addressed friends, family and a select group of the media back and February and did a few courtesy interviews with ESPN and The Golf Channel last month as he continues to repair his tarnished image. Tiger appeared battle-tested as he was hit with a barrage of questions in a variety of areas including his extra-marital side-booing (obviously) , his relation with steroid-linked Dr. Anthony Galea and getting dropped by a bunch of sponsors including Gatorade and Accenture.

Tiger handled himself about as well as could be expected for the momentous occasion as several media outlets on TV and the Web broadcast the entire press conference live. Now with another major weight off of his shoulders Tiger can focus on doing what he does best: serving fools like a dope man on the golf course. Tiger’s best bet for putting this whole thing to bed (no pun intended) is to win a few Tournaments, as success generally wipes away the foul stench of questionable transgressions.

Ghettooh: Tiger’s Side Boos Dishing Dirt In Vanity Fair

When will the madness end? Tiger’s side boos, aka whores, are making a killing off of getting the nut of a married man and telling the world about it, but it’s time to let Tiger get back to the business of serving dudes on the golf course. 4 of Tiger’s confirmed side boos (Loredana Jolie, Jamie Jungers, Mindy Lawton and Michelle Braun) are posing for Vanity Fair and dishing the dirt on areas of Woods life that have nothing to do with their specialty of getting his nut. The issue should hit stores just in time to continue the smear campaign for acts that are prevalent not only throughout the sports world, but the square on as well.

The once respectable “Side Boo Code,” which use to govern the transgressions of girls that willingly accepted the role of being “not the main chick,” has forever been destroyed as the mainstream continues to make of mockery of Woods and his previous creeping. The real question continues to remain: who will be the next major sports figure (male or female) to get caught up? We’ll get the answer sooner than later.