Big Baby Gets Knocked The F%&k Out By D12 Elbow

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Dwight Howard’s elbow’s should be considered lethal weapons like Mel Gibson. Howard’s been beasting people with his ‘bows his entire career, but it was none more evident than during the Magic’s Game 5 victory. D12 knocked C’s backup forward Glen “(don’t call me) Big Baby” Davis out of commission after delivering a grill shot that had Davis doing the wobble wobble.

When Big Baby first went down it looked like he was flopping. Even Celtics head coach Doc Rivers wasn’t convinced that Davis was legitimately hurt and can be seen yelling on the sidelines at him to get up. Davis left the game with a concussion, but appeared to come back to reality as he exited the floor. His status for Game 6 is still up in the air but guaranteed Dwight Howard’s elbow’s will still be causing major damage.

Clock Freezes During 4th Quarter Of Game 4

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This didn’t end up being a big deal but it’s interesting nonetheless. With the game knotted at 86 during the final moments of the Celtics-Magic Game 4 and the C’s looking for a game-winner to sweep the series, the clock freezes at 8.5 seconds for what amounts to be about half a second before continuing to run. Unfortunately Paul Pierce turned the ball over forcing the first overtime in the 2010 NBA Playoffs and the Magic relied on a Jameer Nelson heat-check to get their first win of the series.

Had the C’s managed to get pull off the win in regulation it would have been a little more than just the luck of the Irish if you can dig.

Celtic Marquis Daniels’ Stepdad Tasered During Game

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It would probably suck to get tasered like Willie Buie (Marquis Daniels’ stepfather) did, in front of friends and family during Game 2 in Orlando. At least the Celtics came away with the win to take the 2-0 lead back to Boston and someone was nice enough to videotape some of the tasering incident. Buie may have a case for police brutality, but the video that was captured probably won’t help that much. Tis Tough.

WTF! Did Kobe Try To Grab Matt Barnes’ Meat?

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Now I’m not saying that Kobe likes men, but this whole grab other dude’s meat thing has to come to an end. A little over a week after getting caught double-poking Andre Iguodala’s wanker, it appears that Kobe was at it again during his game-long feud with Magic forward Matt Barnes Sunday. The pair went at it all game long, getting in each other’s faces repeatedly and both men went out of their way to deliver a few bumps and courtesy elbows, whilst talking an abundance of heat.

Kobe definitely crossed the line during the 3rd quarter when following a Barnes tip-jam Bryant tried to throw his forearm in the generally direction of Barnes’ nether region. Noticing that Kobe’s arm came a little too close for comfort, Barnes reacts almost instantaneously, thrusting himself in Kobe’s general direction and proceeding to get all up in his grill. At first glance it may have appeared that Barnes flung himself in Kobe’s direction after the dunk to gloat, but the reality is that he was pissed that his manhood was being endangered.

Kobe may have just been putting his arm up to shield himself from Barnes’ landing, but after reviewing the video it looks like he makes a conscious effort to hit Barnes in the balls. This move is becoming far too common for Bryant and needs to be addressed. Coincidentally John Amaechi is sitting somewhere smiling, remembering all the “accidental” meat grabs that he amassed throughout his career. He probably has a woody.

Video of Kobe grabbing yet another dude’s meat, this time it’s teammate Pau Gasol during last year’s Finals, coincidentally against the Magic, after the jump…(Not Safe For Kobe Lovers)

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Vince Carter’s Record-Setting One-Handed 86-Foot Trick Shot

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After teammate Dwight Howard set a Guiness World Record during All-Star Weekend, hitting a one-handed 52-foot shot sitting down, Vince Carter decided to take it a little deeper (no homo), nailing one from 86 feet following practice Tuesday. Carter was just messing around with Howard, trying out his luck and ended up completely smashing D-12’s record. You have to imagine that Howard was probably a little bit salty that he was bested by Carter, while a few cameramen present to catch all the action. If nobody else was around, he should have just denied that it happened, as he runs ‘ish in Orlando.

Unfortunately for Carter, Howard and any other square that will attempt to or eventually beat the record, King James could make it from further if he wanted to.

Another angle of Vince’s crazy shot after the jump…

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King James Beasts A Beast

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I know the Cavs have lost 3 straight games, and everyone wants to be quick to bash the Jamison trade, but one thing is for certain–you can’t blame King James. LeBron is doing everything he can to help his team win, like he did on this play, timing out Dwight Howard shot and not even showing him the courtesy of blocking it into the 20th row. Instead King James just grabbed snatched the ball out of the air with 2 hands and took it coast-to-coast for the bucket. Now that is what you call a beasting, but unfortunately the Magic got the last laugh, but the Cavs proverbial monkey azz in crunch time.

Even with the addition Jamison (which the team didn’t really need) the Cavs roster is essentially what you get when you lean a little bit closer to see that them roses really smell like boo boo. Big Z was playing solid and relying on Shaq to finish the season is risky, but those are decisions that Danny Ferry gets paid big cheese to make and God bless him for having the marbles to make them. But without a ring, it’s a safe bet that LeBron will make his next move his best one next season, whether that be staying in Cleveland or making a move remains to be seen.

Check out Shaq beasting Dwight Howard early in the game after the jump…

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Dwight Howard’s Got Some Baby Mama Drama

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We told you earlier this year about Dwight Howard’s baby mama, Royce Reed and their son Braylon, and now after getting clowned on various blogs for his (alleged) questionable treatment of his former boo, D12 is striking back. Howard is suing his former boo for over $9 mill, claiming that her hating is costing him cheese in potential endorsements. Not a bad idea on Howard’s part, considering all the scrutiny that male athletes have been getting recently, this lawsuit shows that he isn’t one to be messed with. Howard is also demanding that Reed stop salting his name. The lawsuit also accuses Reed of directly posting or encouraging other’s to post comments on websites clowning Howard, further slandering his name.

The best part about the lawsuit is how they reached the $9 mill total, in a formula that charges $500 per comment posted times the 17,000 views that the various comments bashing Howard have received. Odds are Howard won’t be seeing any of this cheese, but since he has money to burn anyways, he is definitely going to try to hit his former boo where it hurts.

Check out an Orlando News stations story on the Howard lawsuit after the jump..

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In The Face: Chris Kaman Gets Banged On…Again

Dunk Score: 9

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Everybody knows that Chris Kaman is unathletic, even for a white dude. Sadly Kaman is developing a reputation for getting banged on, worse than CJ from Grand Theft Auto did when he was inside Rollin’ Heights Ballas territory, after Dwight Howard beasted him Tuesday night. At least Kaman had the presence of mind to realize what was in store and moved his hand out of the way before getting sharted on. Much like Lakers center D.J. Mbenga, known around the Lake Show organization as “Mbanged-on”, Kaman might get his name changed to Chris “Kame-on” if he keeps ending up on the wrong end of a posterizing.

JERSEYCHASER

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