Mark Ingram Cries During Heisman Speech

Even though Mark Ingram was crying during his Heisman acceptance speech, my momma told me to never clown a man that is built like a pit bull dog. Ingram won by the slimmest margin in the history of the award, edging out Stanford running back Toby Gerhart, in what amounted to be a winner-by-default type of situation this year. Mark Ingram definitely did work this year in helping ‘Bama reach the BCS title game but Toby Gerhart was a beast all season. Gerhart also put up way better numbers this season than Ingram, leading the nation in scoring (160 points), rushing yards (1,753) and rushing touchdowns (26)…At Stanford no less. At a school known for squares (some a little more freaky than others), Gerhart dominated defenses with an old school style, and a got his team within a few games of a Pac-10 championship.

Colt McCoy went into Championship weekend the favorite, but his nasty performance against Nebraksa was overshadowed by the dominance of Ndamukong Suh, who came a second short of single-handedly getting his team the upset. For his efforts Suh did win the southwest region vote finishing behind McCoy in the overall voting. Even though he didn’t win the most prestigious award in college football, it can be argued that the signing bonus award he’s going to win for being the top pick in the draft, will probably make him feel a little better.

Florida quarterback Tim Tebow received a courtesy trip to the festivities, finishing fifth in the voting after Florida tricked off their chance to be one of the greatest dynasties in college football history. Tebow still has the chance for redemption with a meeting against a Brian Kelly-less undefeated Cinncinati squad, but crowning him the all-time king of college football is all but a memory now.

LOL: Whoever Smelt It Dealt It

When he’s not busy talking heat to Legends like LeBron James, Bulls center Joakim Noah appears to be a pretty funny dude. During a recent interview Noah smelt something funkier than Bubbles and accused the reporter of laying a stinker. Noah spent the reminder of the interview trying to figure out who was responsible for letting one rip, but as the old saying goes, whoever smelt it dealt it. This doesn’t mean that Noah was responsible for the fart, because it some circles whoever denied it, supplied it. Via Terez Owens

Check one of Noah’s more legendary videos from back in his Florida Gator days after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes It Pays To Throw Like A Girl

These Dr. Pepper “Throw For Scholarship Dough” competitions went on at a bunch of different conference championship games, but the one during the SEC Championship was easily the most legendary of the day. I was watching this at a local watering hole, not really paying attention to the rules and regulations of the competition as I was more focused on devouring a few hot wings and trying to catch a bird reckless eye-balling. But from the merely watching the only info that I could really deduce was that there was a throw-off to see who could get the most balls in the hole.

Not realizing that accuracy was more important than quantity, much like every other dude in the watering hole, I figured that the guy (who shall remain nameless) in the competition had easily defeated his opponent, a beezy by the name of Sarah Beth Hill. He was way ahead of her with plenty of time remaining when all of sudden his trash can was empty.

It wasn’t until near the end of the competition, when nameless dude stopped throwing balls and looked on anxiously as Sarah Beth continued to nail attempt after attempt, that the whole bar realized what was going on and started rooted in unison for her to get the comeback win. Even though the dude who lost was a Gators fan, he shouldn’t feel too bad about getting served, because Sara Beth made the most attempts out of anyone who competed, and he finished a close second.

What’s sad is that throw-off ended up being way more exciting than the actually game. Via Deadspin, YBB

Tis Tough: Tebow & Trojans Go Out Like Harold

#2 Alabama 32, #1 Florida 13 – You can call us Tebow dickriders or whatever the most modern derogatory term is, but the b-line is that numbers don’t lie. Tebow may be a system QB, but that system needs toilet paper because it is the shit. The loss to Alabama does not outweigh all that Tebow has done for college football and he should still be considered the G.O.A.T. Who else you know who has done it like him? If you want to point at finger at someone for Bama’s win against the Gators in the SEC Championship it has to be Carlos Dunlap. The star defensive end’s suspension after an embarrassing DUI arrest proved costly for Urban Meyer’s defense, as Mark Ingram got all up in their ass like a wedgie.

Arizona 21, #18 USC 17 – For the first time in the Pete Carroll era a Trojans squad has lost 4 games, including 2 conference home losses, also a first for the man who brought dignity back to Troy. The Trojans are headed to a place they haven’t been in nearly a decade, one of the nastier bowls that the Pac-10 gets a bid to. Tied for 5th in the conference with Cal, the Trojans bowling options are limited to either the Emerald or Poinsettia. Considering that the Emerald bowl is played at San Francisco’s AT&T Park, it’s a likely conclusion that Cal will get that bid and the Trojans will be mashing to San Diego to most likely face Utah, which could give Pete Carroll’s squad another L.

Video of Tebow crying after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

Tiger Decides To Keep It On The DL

After refusing to meet with investigators from the Florida Highway Patrol, Tiger Woods released this statement on his official website:

As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore

This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.

This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.

The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.

This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.

Audio of Woods’ Neighbor calling Police immediately following the accident after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Great To Be You: Tim Tebow

Tim Tebow didn’t disappoint in his final home game as a Gator, throwing for 3 touchdowns and running for 2 more as Florida clowned Bobby Bowden and Florida State yet again. The Gators are looking like they want to be crowned as one of the greatest dynasties in college football history. Tebow has already cemented himself as the greatest player in college football history. That may be a bold statement, but Tebow has lived up to the hype and become one of the biggest Legends of our lifetime.

And he doesn’t even smash cakes, by choice, when most of us don’t do it because of lackluster mouthpieces.

But the road to the Natty gets a little bumpy for the Gators next week. A showdown in the SEC Championship with #2 Alabama is lurking like the neighborhood creeper. Nick Saban and them have been doing work all season and even though they may be considered somewhat of a long shot, like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible.

All Floridian women of age, willing and able, should make the trip to Gainesville to offer Tebow a courtesy hojo as his days in Gator country are coming to an end sooner than later. Odds are Tebow will decline, but it’s the thought that counts.

A legendary video summary of Tim Tebow’s last game in the Swamp after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

It Sucks To Be You: Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods may be having one of the worst weeks of his young life. After news broke that Woods may have been creeping with a side boo one year his senior, just in time for the start of the holiday season, Woods was also injured in a questionable automobile accident early Friday morning. He was scheduled to meet with investigators on both Friday and Saturday but opted not to do so. Because the incident is being treated as a traffic accident, Woods is not required by law to give a statement. Delaying the inevitable gives Woods and his Boo some time to figure out which story they will tell.

At this point there are varying stories as to what really happened, with TMZ claiming that Woods and his main Boo got into an argument about the affair allegations and she stomped down on him worse than a Pimp shorted by one of his bottom beezies. According to TMZ, Woods suffered facial injuries from his Boo and was being chased by her with a golf club (fitting), distracting him as he was driving away, which they claim is the actually cause of the accident.

The whole thing sounded fishy from jump street, we were waiting until Tiger and/or his main Boo released a statement before we started to dig deep into this situation, but it’s unclear when and if either of them will be like that episode of “That’s My Momma” with Joe the Policeman on it and let us know what’s going down.

LOL: Urban Meyer Tears Up About Senior Day

You think Urban Meyer is going to miss Tim Tebow and Brandon Spikes next season? Bad news Gators, the time for honoring yourself will soon be at an end.