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Haterade: Tiger Woods Gets Dropped By Gatorade


After giving something like a heartfelt public address less than 2 weeks ago it appeared that Tiger Woods was on the verge of getting his marketability mojo back, after acknowledging that he was thirsty for decent-to-dime side boos. Sadly, Tiger’s mojo took a bit hit Friday when Gatorade announced that they were joining Accenture and AT&T as major brands to sever ties with what use to be their bottom beezy.

Whilst being thirsty isn’t an uncommon attribute for any dude, Tiger was able to capitalize on his thirst with the ultimate aphrodisiac–cheese. It probably didn’t help that he was mashing the really lighter shade of brown, which incites saltiness in an underestimated amount of “haters” across the globe. All I’m saying is if Tiger was banging fat black chicks, people wouldn’t be tripping as hard.

On the bright side, both Nike and Gillette (temporarily not rolling until the block cools down) have decided to keep breaking bread with Tiger, who is due for one of those comebacks that America is known for (see Kobe, Manny Ramirez). All it will take is a few wins and he will be welcomed back with open arms. Only losers don’t recover from a setback like this.

Gatorade’s statement on dropping Tiger Woods after the jump…

“We no longer see a role for Tiger in our marketing efforts and have ended our relationship, We wish him all the best.”


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