Former Jazz & L.A. Defender Whaley Busted For Weed

Tis Tough. Former Jazz center Robert Whaley, the 51st overall pick in the 2005 NBA draft (same class as Deron Williams) and Michigan high school legend was busted early Thursday morning in Salt Lake City for having that fire underneath his Oscar Mayer. Gang detectives allegedly stopped a car that Whaley was riding in at 4:30 am because he wasn’t wearing a seat belt, but more likely because a car full of black dudes was driving around in Salt Lake City in the middle of the night. A DWB in the SLC isn’t too far-fetched.

Whaley, who already has a warrant out in Michigan for a 2008 conviction for maintaining a dope house, initially lied to officers after getting pulled over, identifying himself as Kareem Johnson. Considering that he recently played in the D-League, as a member of the Los Angeles Defenders which is the Lakers affiliate, Whaley may have chose the alias as a combination of 2 of your more sicker Lakers in franchise history; Kareem Adul-Jabbar and Magic Johnson.

Unfortunately the officers recognized Whaley from his brief career with the Jazz and after a routine search discovered a few baggies of marijuana aka “that sweet cheeba,” squeezed between his butt cheeks. No word if Whaley was carrying the fire and desire or some bammer. This is the second time that Whaley has been caught in Utah giving a false name. In 2005 Whaley and Deron Williams, both rookies at the time, were involved in an altercation at a Harry O’s bar in Park City with some beer-muscled Nuggets fans. Whaley gave the name “Bobby Wiiliams” and D-Will claimed he was “Torrey Ellis,” which easily would have been a more believable alias compared to Whaley’s choice, given that Williams actually does look like a dude named Torrey Ellis.

Whaley was taken to Salt Lake City jail where he is being held on $100,000 bail while prosecutors determine whether his crime is large enough to warrant prosecution before his extradition back to Michigan to face his other charge. Whaley has essentially become a real-life nastier version of Rick Fox’s legendary character Jackson Vahue from “Oz.” Via The Salt Lake City Tribune

Ghettooh: Cuban’s Get Active During Baseball Melee

As you can see, dudes that get hit by pitches in Cuba take that ‘ish seriously. After blatantly getting hit by a pitch, the batter takes off after the pitcher with a baseball bat, while the pitcher does what anybody who doesn’t know karate (or Ka-razy) would have done, broke like the policia was chasing him. I’m surprised that the batter didn’t bing more people with his massive wood (was that gay?) Surely someone will try to blame this (base)brawl on communism or Fidel Castro or both. Via Deadspin

Holler Back: Merlin Olsen Chunks The Deuces

Hall of Famer and Former Rams Legend Merlin Olsen passed away at age 69 Thursday after a battle with mesothelioma (cancer), which is easily one of the worst-sounding diseases known to man. Olsen was diagnosed with the form of lung cancer about a year ago and has kept a low profile in that time. The Utah State graduate, won the Outland Trophy in 1961 and was the Rams’ 3rd overall pick in the 1962 draft. Olsen was apart of the “Fearsome Foursome” the infamous defensive line, that also featured Deacon Jones, Rosey Grier and Lamar Lundy.

A beast in his time, Olsen was known for his compassion on opposing quarterbacks, unlike the original QB Killa Deacon Jones, who was notorious for trying to deliver the wood as a means of exciting his. Olsen gained a greater satisfaction from merely getting the tackle, shutting down the offense and moving on to the next play. In his 15 seasons with the Rams Olsen was selected to 14 Pro Bowls and an was named MVP in 1974. He was selected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1982

Following his football career Olsen took advantage of being a celebrity in Los Angeles, parlaying his success on the gridiron into a solid acting career, teaming with Michael Landon on Little House On The Prairie and eventually getting his own spin-off, Father Murphy. Olsen had a very successful career as a broadcaster working for both NBC and CBS during his days in the booth.

Video of The Fearsome Foursome and Olsen portraying his legendary “Father Murphy” character after the jump…

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WTF! Did Kobe Try To Grab Matt Barnes’ Meat?

Now I’m not saying that Kobe likes men, but this whole grab other dude’s meat thing has to come to an end. A little over a week after getting caught double-poking Andre Iguodala’s wanker, it appears that Kobe was at it again during his game-long feud with Magic forward Matt Barnes Sunday. The pair went at it all game long, getting in each other’s faces repeatedly and both men went out of their way to deliver a few bumps and courtesy elbows, whilst talking an abundance of heat.

Kobe definitely crossed the line during the 3rd quarter when following a Barnes tip-jam Bryant tried to throw his forearm in the generally direction of Barnes’ nether region. Noticing that Kobe’s arm came a little too close for comfort, Barnes reacts almost instantaneously, thrusting himself in Kobe’s general direction and proceeding to get all up in his grill. At first glance it may have appeared that Barnes flung himself in Kobe’s direction after the dunk to gloat, but the reality is that he was pissed that his manhood was being endangered.

Kobe may have just been putting his arm up to shield himself from Barnes’ landing, but after reviewing the video it looks like he makes a conscious effort to hit Barnes in the balls. This move is becoming far too common for Bryant and needs to be addressed. Coincidentally John Amaechi is sitting somewhere smiling, remembering all the “accidental” meat grabs that he amassed throughout his career. He probably has a woody.

Video of Kobe grabbing yet another dude’s meat, this time it’s teammate Pau Gasol during last year’s Finals, coincidentally against the Magic, after the jump…(Not Safe For Kobe Lovers)

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Tis Tough: Iverson Has Gambling & Drinking Problems

We just said damn. After his somewhat triumphant return to Philly was abruptly ended by what was called a “family issue,” specifically an illness to Iverson’s 4 year old daughter, A.I.’s media Consigliere Stephen A. Smith relayed the news to the masses on ESPN a few days ago, that the Legend is suffering from both alcohol and gambling problems and needs to be prayed for. Iverson’s boo also filed for divorce recently, which can only make the situation worse. It’s never easy losing your boo and career in less than a week span and sometimes not even a bunch of cheese and hang-out guys can ease the pain like that bottle or hollering at the casino.

Stephen A. Smith has assumed the duty as Iverson’s voice to the media, as the Legend has been pretty low key since bouncing from the Sixers, minus the occasional night of bottle-popping, much like Smith aided Iverson in announcing his preemptive retirement back in November. Smith looked a little shaken when speaking about Iverson’s issues and trying to help others really understand what he is going through.

It always sucks when what use to merely be “Getting It Crackin,” becomes a problem in need of an intervention. Reminds me of the movie Boogie Nights, with Iverson assuming a role similar to Dirk Diggler after his meat was no longer Grade A. It’s difficult making the fall from grace, especially in Iverson’s case with a soon to be ex-wife with 5 kids to get cheese for. All that means is that she is playing for big chips, no pun intended.

Iverson released what can be considered a statement Monday night via Twitter, acknowledging that he is going through some tough times in a series of tweets:

To my fans: You all know that my life isn’t perfect. I am going through some very tough times right now, like I am sure that we all do from time to time. However, I will stand tall like always with “rhino” thick skin. Even though I have become used to hearing people say things about me that aren’t true, it still hurts. I encourage you to continue your ongoing support and I want you to trust that this is another obstacle in my life that, with God’s help I will overcome. God Bless You All.

WTF? Rodney Stuckey Gets Mean Case Of The “Itis”

Damn near 20 years to the day that the Legend Hank Gathers chunked the deuces following one of your sicker bang-outs in LMU history, Pistons guard Rodney Stuckey fell out during a timeout against King James and the Cavs in Cleveland Friday. Stuckey clutched the Pistons Trainer as teammates sat on the bench without too much concern at first until he was eventually laid out on the ground for over 10 minutes, until an EMT crew was able to get him on a stretcher and take him to a local hospital for evaluation. If seeing something like that doesn’t phase you, then you done seen some crazy ‘ish.

Fortunately Stuckey wasn’t seriously impacted by the collapse, which can best be categorized as suffering from the meanest case of the “Itis” known to man. It usually comes from eating a well-fried piece of chicken or some other delicious meal, but has the tendency to pop up at the most inopportune times, like the middle of a basketball game. Whatever the case, a temporary coma is the inevitable result.

This isn’t the first time that Stuckey has collasped on the court. During a game a few years back he suffered from similar symptoms and was forced to miss a few games as a result. Stuckey was released from the hospital the following day and doesn’t appear to be suffering from any effects of fall out, which looked worse than it actually was and he should be back to giving dudes buckets in a timely fashion.

Video of Stuckey’s collapse after the jump…

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WTF? Kobe Pokes Andre Iguodala’s Meat…Twice

Kobe Bryant has been in the League for a long time, so he knows the tricks of the trade, but poking Andre Iguodala’s meat not once, but twice as he attempted a jumper is definitely crossing the line (watch the slo mo replay for the double-poking). Hell facebook doesn’t even allow the double-poke (unless you get poked back) but the shady move didn’t go unnoticed as Kobe was whistled for a foul on the play (shocker). Iguodala was visibly shaken after getting the double nut-shot from the 2nd-best player in the NBA right now.

While Kobe doesn’t really have a reputation as a meat-poker, this move might be considered extremely dirty by some. It wasn’t like Kobe was sneaky with it as this was pretty blatant and dare I say malicious. You should never mess with a man’s manhood, unless that’s your thing and he gives you the go-ahead. Via Busted Coverage

Canadian Hockey Team Beats USA To Win Gold Medal

Who cares? All you squares out there that pretended to like hockey because the USA was in the Gold medal game and you felt the need to join the bandwagon, as you were. Unless there is a solid fight, you know we AREN’T rolling hockey whatsoever. Video of Sidney Crosby’s golden goal and Canadian fan’s going crazy after the jump…

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