In The Face: High School Edition

Dunk Score: 9.7

Now what we have right here is Pierre Warren, a senior guard at Marbury High School in Alabama, banging all over the life of some unsuspecting square. Warren is a beast and at only 6′1, has a boost that you can’t help but respect. Basketball is Warren’s 2nd sport as he is more known for his exploits on the football field, committing to Jacksonville State last month where he will join his older brother Wesley, who is also a member of the football team.

This video claims that this dunk is Warren’s last high school field goal and if so, he definitely went out on top. The dude he banged on was completely demoralized, and appears to fall on his face immediately after getting sharted on. Somebody please wipe that dude’s face asap.

You Go Girl: Ruth Lovelace Wins PSAL Championship

The Chaser would like to give a special “Unome” to New York’s Boys & Girls High school head coach Ruth Lovelace, who became the first woman to win the coveted PSAL Championship in boys basketball last Saturday at Madison Square Garden. The win marked Boys & Girls first PSAL Championship since 1979 and ended a drought in what was the school’s 3rd appearance in the finals in the last 4 years. Entering the title game against Cardozo, another legendary New York public school program, Boy & Girls overcame a 10-point deficit to secure Lovelace’s place in history.

Lovelace has been the coach at Boys & Girls since 1993, when she was given the position at only 24 years old. Although it took 17 years for Lovelace to win her first PSAL title, she has been successful in her coaching career, going to the playoffs in every season and gaining notoriety throughout the world thanks to various pieces done on interesting relationship between hard-nosed female coach and teenage boys. Whilst most dudes would look down on a female coach and treat her like Rhea Perlman got did in “Sunset Park,” Lovelace ain’t with all that and is notorious for her fiery coaching style in which she holds no punches.

In case you haven’t seen Lovelace in action, check out a video of her punking dudes after the jump…

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LOL High School Edition: White Men Can’t Jump!!!

This video starts out with potential but even though it’s the broadest definition of a dunk in basketball history, for some reason this joint is pretty funny. You got to give the kid credit for trying, even though he got about as high as a square smoking a strezoid bleezy. In case you didn’t know, that’s low. On the bright side, a couple of year’s from now, no one will remember and the kid will claim he banged out. Nothing helps you forget better then time.

That’s Your Azz: Coach Throws Ball At Player’s Head

Frustrated with his team’s play, Southern Regional high school (New Jersey) coach Eric Maxwell picked up a volleyball and attempted to throw it off a wall in frustration (or so he claims) but ended up binging it off of one of his player’s heads. The Chaser is a little tardy to the party with this video, which is over a month old, but oh well, the joint is still kind of funny, so if you haven’t seen it, check it out.

Ghettooh: Dude Tasered At High School BBall Game

Guaranteed this kid wanted to yell, “Don’t taser me bro,” but by then it was already too late. It’s not clear what set these whole events into motion, but what is clear is that this little melee was on like some donkey kong. Via World Star Hip Hop

Creeper Alert: Track Coach Accused Of Taking Cookie

After an extended hiatus, Creeper Alert makes it’s way back on the track (no pun intended) with this dude, Tommie Boyd, who just his extended hiatus extended ended after catching 3 cases for messing with some minors that were members of the track team that he was coaching at Fraser high school in the Detroit area. Apparently Boyd played for the Lions in the late 90’s, but if he did, it wasn’t often because nobody seems to remember this dude except for die-hard Lions fans, of which there are few and far between.

Boyd is accused of rolling with the “grass-on-the-field-play-ball” theory, allegedly engaging in a relationship with a 14 year girl that began in 2007 and continued through 2009. His is also accused of smashing 2 other teenage girls while coaching at the school. One, is tough, two is touger, but 3? damn that is doing way too much and making the block hotter than July.

Never one to jump to conclusions the case should take it’s course, but any dude who choses to coach minors faces this potential risk of something cracking like this. If convicted could be looking at life in prison. Damn life, that may as well be a million years. Michigan, consider yourself alerted.Via ProFootballTalk

This Kid Has Boosties: 8th Grader Bangs Out

I know that kids are on some other stuff nowadays with technological advancement and all of that nonsense, but any time that an 8th grader gets a dunk in a game, it has to be addressed. This dude right here, LaDerian King has a boost like a midget in an arcade in his attempt to soar with the eagles. As anybody that has dunked on a regulation hoop can tell you, the first one in a game always makes your heart flutter.

In The Face: White Men Can Jump

Dunk Score: 9.5

Now what we have right here is a classic example of white-on-white violence, and one of the rare times when a white dude not only bangs out, but manages to catch another white dude slipping, bashes in his grill and gets the foul. After a banging on like this, the kid who delivered it is definitely worthy of a solid tug from the opposing team’s dimest cheerleader–just as long as she is of legal age to consent or can keep it on the down low…unlike R. Kelly.

The white guy shitting-on each other phenomenon may become an often occurrence, if the shady AABA All-White league actually gets off the ground, but that joint will probably last as long as the average square could with Kim Kardashian. For those unaware, those cakes will ravage you.